Your tits are I can't wait for
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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