You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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