I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Randomize
