Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
