How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
