Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
