2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
