My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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