I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i love accidental penises.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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