Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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