i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
