I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
