All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I need to stop coming to work sober
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
