Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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