K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
