i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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