dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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