doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
