My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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