Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
