I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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