I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
