I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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