I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
