what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
