I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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