I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
