she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
