wake up i wanna do it froggy style
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
