return my video game
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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