shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
