just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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