There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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