Where did you get a picture of my penis
I think my fart just growled at me.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
