i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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