dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
