Is it normal to miss your booty call?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Panties = found
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
