Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
