I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
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