he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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