My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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