i was rollin on her like bob the builder
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
