Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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