Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
