It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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