Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
