Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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