you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
No subtext here. People are naked.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
