College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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