what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
