There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
