An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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