textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
