just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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