census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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